**Trigger warning*** Mental Health, depression and anxiety discussed in this post. If you could potentially be affected by these subjects, please skip this post. Stay strong. <3
I know it has been months and months since I have posted. Last semester really kicked me in the face, and for the first time, I seriously considered giving up. The anxiety hit hard and the depression was the worst it had ever been. There were times I told Kyle that I just wanted to die. I am so incredibly lucky to have him in my life because he has been my rock through these heart wrenching times. I can’t imagine a life without him. Anyways, I didn’t get on here to dredge through all the yuck. I’m here to encourage people who could be going through those things to just keep pushing. Although I am not 100%, I am most definitely on the mend. I am doing more to take control of my health. Kyle and I have been getting up early in the morning to hit the gym before he heads to work and I head to class. I have worked out more in the past two weeks than I have in the past year, and I am giving myself a ton of grace. I’m not lifting nearly as much as I used to, my lungs aren’t what they were, and my negative mindset is definitely hard to overcome at times. However, I am fighting. I am fighting to just be who I know I am capable of being. Instead of comparing myself to the old me, I am comparing myself to the me I know I can be. I know I am strong. I know I am capable. I know I can overcome. I got a job because I know sitting on my butt at home is only giving myself time to drown in the negative thoughts. I need to be active and I need to be involved. Luckily, the job is at a place that serves coffee and bagels, so I am a happy camper. (Donuts are not on the menu. Which is probably a good thing.) I plan to make an appointment with a therapist to help with some anxiety management so I can finally get some decent sleep and not feel like a zombie all day. I hope that this semester will be more manageable and significantly more enjoyable. I am taking my first dedicated nutrition course on the Atlanta campus, and I am excited to finally take classes dedicated to my major. I also hope to be able to post on here more often. Thanks to everyone still hanging around. Sending so much love.