Sometimes You Have to be Mean

I’ve had this post on my mind a lot lately, and I have finally decided to sit down and type it out.

Lately, I’ve been talking to a lot of women about situations in which they felt it necessary to be nice and passive even when they were uncomfortable. Not just when they were being hit on or dudes or other females were being inappropriate, but in situations where people were trying to sell you things or ideas. I am the WORST at telling solicitors to get TF off my porch or dudes hitting on me to go away because (especially as a southern belle) you’re taught to be nice. You’re taught to be submissive and cordial. But honestly, I’m really freaking sick of being nice to someone just because society says I “should” be. I’m sick of being uncomfortable to make someone else, that has no importance to me, feel comfortable.

So I’ve decided to change that. From now on, I’m going to be straight forward and stop hoping people “get the hint.” I’m going to make it very clear that I’m not interested or that I’m uncomfortable. And if those don’t work, I’m going to be a bitch, because I don’t have time to waste on nonsense. And I encourage you to do the same.

When a guy or girl tries the MOST obnoxious line ever, “Your (husband, BF, wife, GF, significant other) doesn’t allow you to have friends?” My answer will be, “I have enough fucking friends, and I’m not interested in anyone that can’t take NO for an answer.”

When a guy or girl is pressuring you into doing something you aren’t interested in, regardless of how much money they spent on you or how “nice” they were to you, or even if earlier you told them you WERE interested in something more, YOU DON’T OWE THEM ANYTHING. Stop beating around the bush because you don’t want to seem rude. Stop hoping they get the hint. Just recently I read an article about the Aziz Ansari accusations, and it really hit home for me. This girl’s body language and response to the situation would have rang a bell for almost anyone that she was uncomfortable. However, in the situation, her cues were not observed, and she ended up involved in something she didn’t want to be. I am in no way victim blaming. I will always stand behind, next to, or in front of anyone that is the victim of sexual assault. BUT, if a guy or girl can’t take the words I AM NOT INTERESTED IN THAT, then they aren’t worth the work of sparing them an awkward moment. BE A BITCH! Tell them to get TF off you.

If a salesperson is at your door and won’t take “No” for an answer, tell them that if they don’t get off your porch, you’re calling the police. Seriously. Sadly, the only thing that used to get people off the porch for me was, “My husband won’t allow me to make those decisions.” How effed up is that?! But now, I’m so sick of having to make up BS to get them to leave. I’m sick of having Kyle call and cancel things that I couldn’t say no to. So from now on, if a polite “I’m not interested” doesn’t work, I’m going to make it REEEAALLLL uncomfortable for all of us. Because I’m really over it.

If you are at work and your coworker has gotten a little too free with his or her jokes or innuendos, don’t grimace and force a smile to avoid confrontation. Your workplace should not be a place of discomfort. Say something! As someone who has been in situations with coworkers that made me uncomfortable, I can honestly say, I wish I would have spoken up. But I didn’t for fear of ridicule or being called a liar. But chances are, you are not the first person to feel uncomfortable by your coworkers actions. Keep note of the situations and confront your coworker professionally. If that doesn’t work, go higher up. People will most likely call you a “bitch” for it, but they are not worth compensating your safety or sense of security.

I am well aware that standing up for yourself is hard because you don’t want to be “that person.” I know that the assholes are quick to throw it back in your face with, “oh, you just think you’re so attractive that I was hitting on you?” or, “wow, you’re just too good to have a conversation with someone?” Your answer? “You are damn right!” Because 99 out of 100 times, this guy or girl is a waste of space and doesn’t deserve your time, much less does his or her opinion matter.

There have been so many situations in the news lately where the accused claimed it was simply a case of “miscommunication.” Let’s stop leaving that on the table. Let’s stop allowing these predators to weave doubt into the equations.

And finally, let’s stand together. If you see someone in a situation where you can very clearly see he or she is uncomfortable, say something. Sometimes it is hard to speak your mind, and you need support. If you don’t want to cause a ruckus, see if you can snag her or him when they are alone. Maybe creepy person has head to the bathroom or the bar to grab another drink. A simple, “you ok?” or “you need a way out?” is greatly appreciated.

There is strength in numbers.

Have you ever been in an uncomfortable situation and didn’t know how to get out? How did you resolve it?

Here We Are

**Trigger warning*** Mental Health, depression and anxiety discussed in this post. If you could potentially be affected by these subjects, please skip this post. Stay strong. <3

I know it has been months and months since I have posted. Last semester really kicked me in the face, and for the first time, I seriously considered giving up. The anxiety hit hard and the depression was the worst it had ever been. There were times I told Kyle that I just wanted to die. I am so incredibly lucky to have him in my life because he has been my rock through these heart wrenching times. I can’t imagine a life without him.  Anyways, I didn’t get on here to dredge through all the yuck. I’m here to encourage people who could be going through those things to just keep pushing. Although I am not 100%, I am most definitely on the mend. I am doing more to take control of my health. Kyle and I have been getting up early in the morning to hit the gym before he heads to work and I head to class. I have worked out more in the past two weeks than I have in the past year, and I am giving myself a ton of grace. I’m not lifting nearly as much as I used to, my lungs aren’t what they were, and my negative mindset is definitely hard to overcome at times. However, I am fighting. I am fighting to just be who I know I am capable of being. Instead of comparing myself to the old me, I am comparing myself to the me I know I can be. I know I am strong. I know I am capable. I know I can overcome. I got a job because I know sitting on my butt at home is only giving myself time to drown in the negative thoughts. I need to be active and I need to be involved. Luckily, the job is at a place that serves coffee and bagels, so I am a happy camper. (Donuts are not on the menu. Which is probably a good thing.) I plan to make an appointment with a therapist to help with some anxiety management so I can finally get some decent sleep and not feel like a zombie all day. I hope that this semester will be more manageable and significantly  more enjoyable. I am taking my first dedicated nutrition course on the Atlanta campus, and I am excited to finally take classes dedicated to my major. I also hope to be able to post on here more often. Thanks to everyone still hanging around. Sending so much love.

 

Blog Love

So these past few months have been crazy chaotic. This semester has kept me on my toes and I haven’t been able to post as much as I would like. If I’m not in class, I’m doing homework. If I’m not doing homework, I’m babysitting. If I’m not babysitting, I’m sleeping. I’m not going to lie, the dark thoughts have been making their way back in my mind, and I’m fighting them as well as I know how. Since I haven’t been able to post regularly, I want to share some of my favorite bloggers.

Landyn

Landyn is one of the most down to earth people that I follow. She shows you the good, the bad and the ugly. She has awesome daily hacks and recipes and if you have an Instagram, do your self a favor and give her a follow. Her stories are the best!

Courtney

Courtney just had her first baby, and y’all she is GORGEOUS! Courtney gives great beauty tips, and her trader joes hauls on Instagram stories are so good!

Lynzy

Lynzy just had her third little nugget and he has the best cheeks ever. Lynzy is totally the cool mom with the cutest style. She is quick to show you the REAL life of a mom. She has no issues sharing her bad days along with her good, and that is so refreshing.

Clara

Clara is a local lady. ATLien love. She is a nursing student at Mercer, which is like a hope skip and a jump from us. She’s so sweet and I love how honest her posts are. She’s not a mama so she is a nice break from all the mommy blogs that I follow. She has an AWESOME post about birth control that she just posted recently, and I love that she is spreading so much necessary knowledge. Birth control has affected my mental health negatively for so long, and no one tells you the negative affects you can have. You request a prescription, they give it to you, and they send you on your way. But Clara puts it all out there, and I love it!

Grace

If you want to laugh your face off, follow Grace NOW. She is so hilarious, and I swear we would be best friends in real life. Grace, if you are so graciously reading this, I live in Atlanta so we are state neighbors. Call me when you’re in the area girlfriend! Grace has the cutest kids and her Instagram stories with them are too precious.

Gina

Gina is my OG blogger. She was the first blog I ever followed religiously, and I can’t even begin to express my gratitude to her. Her openness about mental health and her realness about momming has opened my eyes to so much. She doesn’t hide behind her screen, and she is so receptive to her readers. Her two daughters seem like such sweethearts (one of my favorite things she posts are her “liv-isms” They are hilarious or precious or just crazy deep things her daughter Olivia says, and I can’t get enough)! I feel like I watched her kiddos grow up through her blog and It’s amazing. Her husband is in the military, and I can’t thank them enough for the sacrifices they make for our country.

Lauren

Ok, so if I had a long lost sister, Lauren would be her. She is so funny and real and no joke, her posts make me want to move to the northeast. Maybe one day, if I can wrap my head around actual snow in the winter. Probably not though. Also, Lauren is another person that if you aren’t following her Instagram stories, you aren’t doing yourself any justice. Also, she has some BOMB Pandora playlists.

So that’s who I am loving right now and always.

Do y’all have anyone that you are following that I need to check out?

 

Things I Want to Love

With social media being such a huge part of everyone’s daily life, it is easy to see what is the current “healthy” trend. I put “healthy” in parentheses because we all know that some of these trends aren’t as healthy as we would like to believe. There are some things that I want to love so bad because they are so in, but I just can’t. Am I the only one?

La Croix 

Not only is sparkling, flavored water EVERYWHERE, it’s also not a bad thing to absolutely love. I want to love it. I want to choose it over a Coke, but I can’t. I bought an 8 pack of Spindrift because everyone was raving about it, and I was convinced this time was going to be IT. I was going to be a part of the cool kids club. But it wasn’t. And now I am forcing down cans of nasty so they don’t go to waste. We had a Falcon’s party for their first game of the season, and I put them with the other drinks hoping SOMEONE would take one or two off my hands. They didn’t.

Kombucha

I was rolling through Target the other day because, why not? And I saw they had some kombucha on sale. I had been wanting to try it because of course, it’s been blowing up my Instagram feed and ya know, peer pressure. So I snagged two bottles and opened one before I had even gotten to the car. And, guess what. It was awful. I tried to play it off because Kyle was with me, and I didn’t want it to be obvious that I just wasted money on nonsense. But he tried it and quickly realized it was brewed by Satan himself. No to Kombucha.

Quest Bars

Another one Kyle tried and said, no. And I totally agree. These are like if you took the most fake tasting sugar substitute and mixed it with sand and put some remnants of slightly decent food in and baked it together. I will never understand the hype. Maybe because I still eat things like donuts and cake and REAL Oreos, I know that the poser protein bars are just sad.

Arctic Zero

I was really excited to try this out because I went through a faze where I just wanted ice cream every single night. This way I could eat an entire pint and not feel quite as guilty. Nope. I would rather feel a thousand years of guilt than eat this crap. You know how you used to “soak” your dishes in the sink because the food was just “too hard” to clean off right then? We all know that’s code for, “I don’t feel like doing the dishes, and I want it to seem like I’m being productive.”  Well if you had eaten a plate of chocolate cake that night and soaked your dish, and then took that old chocolate dish water and froze it, that would be the chocolate Arctic Zero.

Overnight Oats

So the concept of overnight oats is to basically soak oats in the fridge overnight with different things like milk and fruits and spices like cinnamon or nutmeg. And in the morning, BOOM you have breakfast ready to go. And these are SO great if you love slimy, goopy, cold, mushy oatmeal. If you don’t like those things, I would skip this FABULOUS idea.

Zoodles

So I want to start of by saying I don’t HATE zoodles. It’s more like, don’t EVER expect them to replace real, wholesome grain filled noodles. #allthecarbs #forallmylife. I’m over people acting like I can replace some Rigatoni with some zucchini noodles and my body will never notice a difference. Don’t make me laugh. HA. HA. HA.

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Do y’all have any things that you tried and just realized, yeahhhhh, no. That doesn’t work for me? Or have you tried the above and think I need to give it another chance? Let me know!

 

 

Atlanta- Places you should check out

Having grown up in metro-Atlanta and currently living right outside the perimeter, I hate when people talk about how there is nothing to do around here. Although Atlanta is no LA or Vegas or NY, there are still so many places to go for great food and good times. I’ve included places all around North Georgia as well because if you live around Atlanta and have for a while, you might just want a new scene. This may not be a super “foodie” or “vacay friendly” post. But these are place that we love and I just wanted to share.

Something that has been going on for a while but people don’t know about is KOP Yoga. It’s held on Tuesdays at 7pm in Historic Old Fourth Ward next to the skate park. It is LOADS of fun, and when it’s over, you head down to the Inman Park King of Pops window for a yummy treat! Thousands of people show up, so if you are a newbie to yoga, I can assure you, you will not be the only one. Just bring a mat or a towel and a bottle of water and enjoy a free yoga sesh!

Next is Ponce City Market. I’ve heard people say PCM is a tourist trap, but I disagree. Ponce City Market is an outdoor mall in a building that used to be the old Sears and Roebuck building. I love the history of the building, and all the things it offers. You can shop lots of awesome stores and if you want, you can rent a bike from High Mountain Outfitters and hit the Beltline right outside the back doors of PCM. Also, Skyline Park, the rooftop of PCM, has fun things to do like mini golf, carnival games, and rides.

This is a little stretch outside of Atlanta, but I can assure you it is worth the drive. Nana’s Chicken N Waffles in Conyers, Ga. is THE place for an awesome brunch. But if you are headed there on the weekend, be prepared for a wait. This place is in an old Waffle House, and has that AWESOME hole in the wall home cooked feel. There is not a single thing on the menu that will disappoint.

Of course I can’t do a post on Atlanta without including The Varsity. We took some of our engagement pictures at The Varsity because it is such an Atlanta staple. Their milkshakes are ideal and their onion rings are always the best. There is also a couple Junior Varsity around metro-Atlanta if you don’t want to head all the way downtown, but you still need a fix.

Da Vinci’s Donuts has a couple locations, but we usually went to the Sandy Springs location. They have smaller donuts but TONS of flavors. And they aren’t gross and dry like a lot of donut places are that make too many flavor options.

 

When we lived in Sandy Springs, we were RIGHT off the ‘Hooch. There are so many fun things to do at the Chattahooche. The have awesome parks and fun walking trails. You can raft, kayak, or tube the ‘hooch. They also have festivals and a river race you can participate in or watch.

Len Foote Hike Inn is another place outside of Atlanta, but it is TOTALLY worth the drive. It’s pretty much straight up 400. You park at the top of Amicalola falls and hike the Appalachian Trail about 5 miles up to the inn. There are no trash cans up the trail or at the inn. Whatever trash you take up with you, you take back down. The inn has no tvs and asks that you limit your cell phone usage as much as possible. The purpose of the inn is to enjoy nature and all the amazing things it has to offer. They offer an early morning wake up to anyone that wants to have a cup of coffee or hot tea and watch the sunrise. The meals are served at one specific time and you eat family style with all the guests. I cannot express how amazing this experience was, and I would love to go back. If there is ANYTHING you do on this list, I recommend this through and through. However, no animals are allowed at the inn, so you will have to make sure your pets have a place to stay during your visit.

Another hike we enjoyed but obviously isn’t in Atlanta was Kennesaw Mountain Battlefield Trail. This trail is super dog friendly with doggie water fountains available at the bottom. It is a gorgeous hike with a lot of traffic.

Suntrust Park is north of Atlanta in Cobb County. It is the new home of the Atlanta Braves, and a pretty gorgeous park. The intent of the new stadium is to make it a multipurpose facility that can be accessible year round. It has shops and restaurants around the park with delicious food and fun little stores. Wahlburgers just opened up and Baseballism has an apparel store. Also, during game days, there are some GREAT food options inside the park and carnival games, a zipline, and a rock wall for the kiddos.

A couple other places we love around North Georgia:

Wish Shoe Boutique

Heet Atlanta (Shoes)

Paris on Ponce Antiques

Scott’s Antique Market

Front Page News Yummy Food (People always talk about Vortex in Little 5 Points, but I think Vortex is SO overrated)

Kaboodle Antiques

Spiced Right Ribhouse

North River Tavern

The Local 7

Cosmo’s Little Italy (It’s not really in Atlanta, but it has some of THE best pizza. Fun Fact: Kyle and I ate here the night he proposed to me.)

Special Kneads and Treats (This isn’t in Atlanta either, but if you’re getting Cosmo’s, your dessert needs to be this place.)

Lakewood Antiques 

Revolution Donuts (My favorite donut place ever)

Radial Cafe

Shorty’s Pizza

Lotus Chinese (THE BEST Chinese/American food I have ever eaten)

I know I’ve probably forgotten a TON of places we love, and I will probably edit this as we check out new places. Hopefully this gave you a couple ideas of some new places to try so you don’t get stuck in a rut.

Is there any places you love that we should try?